From The Little Things
It was 5 years ago today, that I sat down to write the following. I was exhausted! It wasn’t physical exhaustion, but mental, emotional even though I didn’t get much sleep the two days prior and despite the 10 mile walk the day before.
I was confused, angry and scared. The media was basically describing how lower Manhattan was completely gone.
I sat down in Dad’s backyard and wrote. I needed to share some of my thoughts but couldn’t find the voice to speak it. It was the first meaningful thing I ever wrote. Meaningful to me if not anyone else. Now I find writing to be just about as good a stress reliever as anything else.
Read on if you’re interested in what happened to me and what was going through my head on September 11, 2001….
I?m writing this on the morning of Wednesday, September 12, 2001. Both Monday and Tuesday mornings I was scheduled to fly out of LaGuardia and both times my planes were grounded because of mechanical problems. I obviously took this as a sign and decided I would not be flying anywhere anytime soon. Tuesday when I got back to my midtown office at 10 to 9, the first thing I hear is that a plane has crashed into the Twin Towers. Watching the building burn with a gaping hole in it on TV I started shaking. Thinking of the very remote chance that could have been my plane. I was dazed. Only thinking about my daughter that I hadn?t said goodbye to, I called her mother crying. I wanted to make sure she was told that daddy loved her. After the call and several others to let people know that I had never gotten off the ground, I learned of the second plane. Now gripped by fear, sadness and anger of what was obviously a terrorist attack I was shaking. My office is also in what could be considered a ?target? building for such attacks. Within 5 minutes, we were asked to evacuate and 5 minutes later all of our personnel were walking northbound on 3rd Avenue.
A co-worker had a walkman on and after 15 blocks or so, he reported to us that both buildings had collapsed. Every time we turned around, the southern sky was filled with smoke. The people. I understand at any given moment during the day there can be as many as 60,000 people in those buildings. That on a busy day it can take an hour to get out of them from the upper floors. They only had minutes. Thinking how many must be dead from within and from the surrounding area and on the planes. Then, The Pentagon.
The on-foot exodus out of Manhattan was amazing. Constant streams of people on the sidewalks parading north. People frantic on phones that don?t work trying to get in touch with loved ones to let them know they?re ok. Trying to get in touch with other friends in the city to find out if they?re ok. People crying. Some dealing by laughing. People hugging in the street. Whole offices of people splitting up to try to make their way home and telling each other to ?be safe, call me when you get home.? Friends and I walked over 120 blocks to Yankee stadium in the Bronx where we were to be picked up. Never got picked up. Incoming traffic to the city was blocked off. More walking. Subway. More walking and then we were finally close enough to get picked up by a friend. My half hour commute took over six hours.
This morning.. shock and anger. I feel slapped in the face. I?m proud of my city. I?m proud of my country. There can be no retribution, no revenge that can ever make me feel better, but I still want it. I?m trying to not think of how sad it is that innocent foreign children will die. That Americans will be responsible for killing them. As Bush said last night, the countries that harbor the animals that did this need also to be punished, not just the criminals themselves. It must be done. There were pictures of the people in these countries dancing in their streets, handing out candy to children and celebrating, like it was a national holiday. Maybe we can stop a new generation of terrorists by taking care of this now? Cold. Sad.
No Twin Towers? The thought is incomprehensible. I?d been there several times. Had dinner on the top at Windows On the World restaurant with my family. I see pictures on the news today of the Manhattan skyline and I get choked up. It seems empty. What were once two proud, amazing, powerful feats of human ingenuity is now just smoke and dust. What has stood for my lifetime was destroyed in minutes. To consider what will be done there in the future where they stood gives me very mixed feelings. Most of me wants to rebuild the towers exactly as they were. Knock us down and we are going to get right back up again. My more rational side says why put those targets back up? We?ll of course need a new World Trade Center for economic reasons. If not rebuilt in NY, maybe it will be Chicago or LA? What I?m thinking will be done is some kind of memorial. Unfortunately it will be a reminder, but we need these reminders as well. This can not be forgotten. It will not.
My heart goes out to those who have lost loved ones. I somehow have not lost any. I have friends who may have. They don?t yet know anything for certain. The report on the news today is that six people have been rescued so far from the rubble. Six.
Obviously off from work today, but going back tomorrow. I don?t want to, I?m scared to, but I need to. There will be suffering and heartache for years to come, but life must go on. We can?t just roll over and die. We need to show ourselves and the rest of the world that we?ll never give up, as a nation or as individuals. Tomorrow morning I will push myself to get on public transportation and go to work in a building that is a potential target.
Must go on.
A couple of months ago I signed on to write a tribute to a fallen hero at "2,996". All I had to do was say that I'd like to honor someone in a blog post and they would send me a name. This is the only requirement for the blog post..
…the tributes should celebrate the lives of these people–kind of like a wake. Over the last 5 years we’ve heard the names of the killers, and all about the victim’s deaths. This is a chance to learn about and celebrate those who died. Forget the murderers, they don’t deserve to be remembered. But some people who died that day deserve to be remembered–2,996 people.
How do you write about someone you've never met or even heard of? I thought this would be impossible but would still make some effort. Then when I researched the name of the hero I was given my task became all too easy.
John D. Yamnicky has been memorialized on the internet already by his friends and family in ways that I could never do justice. There are family interviews and nespaper articles and his eulogy online. There are pictures of him with his children and grandchildren. There are tribute sites with quotes by people who have known him a long time and by people who have only had a single remembered encounter with him.
More information than I know what to do with at this point.
If there is one thing I learned about Mr. Yamnicky is that he was as well loved as a father/grandfather could ever hope to be. He was well respected by his family and his peers. I can relate some of the things his family said about him to my own Dad. Maybe I can understand how they feel about him.
Just some background about this man that I learned about from the sites you'll see linked below…
Well, I'll let Mr. Yamnicky's family and friends tell you what makes a man a hero..
This is the stuff that heros are made of and there is just so much more at the sites below. Mr. Yamnicky, you're not just a hero to those who knew you, you'd be a hero to anyone who's heard of you.
Credit to, The Arlington National Cemetary Website, CNN Memorial Website, Legacy.com Website
If you'd like to read the tributes to the other 2,995 please see the list.
If you're interested in any of my other 911 posts, they can be found by clicking additional tags "911" link below.