The Little Things

Let me start this by saying I got the inspiration for this idea while looking at Chris Pirillo's Rent My Chest site.  The first thing I thought was, "Geez, I could never do that!  I've got too much chest hair and it would confuse the words."  Chris' chest is almost completely clean!  I'm not sure if he's even reached full puberty yet!  Maybe he shaves it?  :-)  Well, that's for him to know…

So, I had this great fun idea.  I thought I'd sell NOT space on my chest, by my chest hair!  For a lot less money than Chris, too!  He's charging $50 for the basic word and depending on options it can get more expensive than that.  Now, all things considered, Chris probably gets a hell of a lot more traffic than I do so I'm sure it's worth it.  I have a small amount of traffic to my various sites but they are all listed in all of the major search engines.  And now there's a new site…  http://yankoutmychesthair.chench.com/   Sounds like fun, no?

What I'm proposing is this… for $1, I will pluck a hair from my chest, take a picture of it and display it with your site name and a link back to you from the "Yank Out My Chest Hair" page.  That's just one dollar and you'll get a link that Google, Yahoo, MSN, etc. will find and help to increase your rank.  That's a pretty good deal!  It's just ONE DOLLAR!  You'll also get a piece of my chest hair named after you!  There are more options though.  Let me list them…

$1 = 1 hair yanked, photograhed and linked.
$3 = A small clump yanked, a picture and a link.
$10 = Will get you the clump, picture and sidebar links from all of my sites including, The Little Things, Little Things Quotes, Radio Is Dead, Gramma B's Recipes and Chench.com  This is good.  Like I said, the search engines like me.
$20 = All of the above, plus a review of your site in a post on The Little Things, An extra large clump yanked out and a picture of me and my pain wrought face as I yank out the requested clump.  All payments to be made via paypal or email me and we can make some other arrangement.  All links back need approval by me before I put them up.  No adult stuff please.  It is a family blog.  If you don't have a website to link to you can always link to a charity site or your favorite site or back to The Little Things, but some kind of link is required.

You can even request the general area of my chest that you'd like the hair(s) ripped from.  Options and suggestions are always open btw.  If you want, you can submit your own idea and we'll discuss cost.  If you're not interested at all in this silliness, please at least forward the site to anyone who'd get a laugh at the idiot on the internet who is yanking out his chest hair for money!  Email it!

Email me or comment below if you have any other questions.  You can always IM me on MSN as well at chenchbrain@hotmail.com

Update:  This silliness got Dugg!  Check it out!  Digg it!

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Kris was supposed to post this but I guess she forgot.  Last Saturday we had game night with the usual cast of characters.  Before everyeone arrived, we were waiting patiently and at one point Gary said something to me like, "What's up dude?"  So, we thought it would be funny if he had some old school jive to greet Aunt DD with when she got here.  We told him to say, "Hey, what's up Homey?"  We thought that would be good for a laugh.  We had no clue…  We were sitting down to eat and out of nowhere I guess he remembered and said to DD, "Hey, what's up Housie!"   Oh, then we laguhed for sure.  Gary is about as white as an American boy can be.  We'll try harder to inject a little more jive into him but it aint going to be easy.

So, some qoutes from your favorite "Jive Dude's" and their movie, "Airplane".  Always good for a laugh! 

First Jive Dude: Sh*t man, that honky mus' be messin' my old lady… got to be runnin' cold upside down his head. You know?
Second Jive Dude: Hey home, I can dig it. You know he ain't gonna lay no mo' big rap up on you man.
First Jive Dude: I say hey sky, s'other s'ay I wan say?
Second Jive Dude: UH…
First Jive Dude: Pray to J I get the same ol' same ol'.
Second Jive Dude: Eh. Yo knock yourself a pro slick, gray matter live performas down now take TCB'in man.
First Jive Dude: Hey, you know what they say… See a broad, to get that booty yak 'em.
First Jive Dude, Second Jive Dude: Leg 'er down 'n smack 'em yak 'em
First Jive Dude: Cold got to be. You know? Siiiiiit.

 

Randy: Can I get you something?
Second Jive Dude: 'S'mofo butter layin' me to da' BONE! Jackin' me up… tight me!
Randy: I'm sorry, I don't understand.
First Jive Dude: Cutty say 'e can't HANG!
Jive Lady: Oh stewardess! I speak jive.
Randy: Oh, good.
Jive Lady: He said that he's in great pain and he wants to know if you can help him.
Randy: All right. Would you tell him to just relax and I'll be back as soon as I can with some medicine?
Jive Lady: Jus' hang loose, blood. She gonna catch ya up on da' rebound on da' med side.
Second Jive Dude: What it is, big mama? My mama no raise no dummies. I dug her rap!
Jive Lady: Cut me some slack, Jack! Chump don' want no help, chump don't GET da' help!
First Jive Dude: Say 'e can't hang, say seven up!
Jive Lady: Jive ass dude don't got no brains anyhow! Hmmph!

Elaine: Would you gentlemen care to order your dinners?
First Jive Dude: Bet, babe. Slide a piece o' da' porter. Drink side, run da' java.
Second Jive Dude: Hey lookie here. I can dig grease 'n chompin' on some butter and draggin' through the garden.

I may just have to buy this movie.  You can too!  As a matter of fact, you should, RIGHT NOW!  Click the link below and order it, right now!  You know you want to.  Come on.  It's calling you!

Airplane

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There are some great health tips and tricks here for all.

Such as:

"If your throat tickles, scratch your ear.",  "Clear your stuffed nose!", "Overcome your most primal urge!", "Feel no pain!" and my favorite that I do need to try very soon,

Impress your friends!

Next time you're at a party, try this trick: Have a person hold one arm straight out to the side, palm down, and instruct him to maintain this position. Then place two fingers on his wrist and push down. He'll resist. Now have him put one foot on a surface that's a half inch higher (a few magazines) and repeat. This time his arm will fold like a house of cards. By misaligning his hips, you've offset his spine, says Rachel Cosgrove, C.S.C.S., co-owner of Results Fitness, in Santa Clarita, California. Your brain senses that the spine is vulnerable, so it shuts down the body's ability to resist.

Check out the list of body tricks!

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What is with Happy Meals / Kids Meals today?  Is this the silliest thing you've ever seen coming out of a "Happy meal" bag in your life?  Just to clarify, this is from Burger King, not McDonalds.  McDonalds coined the phrase and now we're pretty much stuck with it.  Like Coke and Pepsi.  How many people actually ask for a "Pepsi"? 

Katherine got these funky over-the-head glasses as her toy the other day.  Gary looks like some psycho futuristic biker and Katherine tries hard to make the things look cute but even she can't do it.  The wrapper claimed they were from the new Superman Movie.  I didn't see it, but Gary did and he doesn't remember them from the movie at all.

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Be curious always! For knowledge will not acquire you: you must acquire it. -Sudie Back

I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world. ~ Albert Einstein

To be conscious that you are ignorant of the facts is a great step to knowledge. ~ Benjamin Desraeli

An investment in knowledge pays the best interest. ~ Benjamin Franklin

He that hath knowledge spareth his words. ~ Francis Bacon

Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance. ~ George Bernard Shaw

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I went to Wilsons Waves pool last Saturday with Gary and I was simply amazed.  First of all I'll have to apologize to all of my male readers.  I didn't take any pictures.  I didn't want to risk getting my butt kicked or getting arrested for that matter.  Anyway, what I'm talking about was the bathing suits that some women were wearing.  Now honey, notice that I said "the bathing suits" and not the women.  I didn't notice them at all… 

What was amazing was the sheer strength of the material used to hold back very large amounts of undulating flesh.  Tiny little spaghetti string sized lengths of material stretched to the point of breaking but, not breaking.  Science is amazing!  Not only can the flesh of the human be augmented to unnatural proportions, but then, fabric can be created to actually support said flesh.  One of my first thoughts upon seeing such a marvel of modern science was The Space Shuttle.  The worlds smartest engineers work day and night on ways to keep the aging space ships from falling apart and all they need to do is take their marshmallow white hineys to the beach once in a while and their answers will be found.  Hold the Space Shuttle together with the incredible, stretchable, skin (barely) covering material!

One other possiblity crossed my mind while discussing this very same issue with Jen the other day.  Maybe they sampled Elasticman's DNA and created this new wonderful cloth from that.  Now that would make perfect sense to me.

Sweetie, notice how good I'm doing at not mentioning just how big some of those things were?  Cause I didn't… Really!

The other part of this was my amazement that some women would actually trust those itsy bitsy pieces of material to secure their privacy.  I mean for some of them… well lets just say they were putting a whole lot of um.. faith in those little bikinis!  This must be one of those women things that us guys just don't get.

If I'm lucky, Kris wont read this until the morning after I leave for work!

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